Sometimes nothing feels more uncomfortable than coming to a new group of people but only knowing one person. It can quickly kill your charisma when the first impression is not on point.
So what are the most common mistakes you can make?
NOT PROACTIVELY INTRODUCING YOURSELF
Instantly make eye contact, give everybody the hand and just be yourself. When someone is in a conversation, just say “I am sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to introduce myself.”
NOT INTRODUCING YOUR FRIENDS
Always introduce friends you are bringing! It is simply not cool to shut your friends down by not introducing them to others in your company. How you treat your inner circle reflects on your personality.
TALKING ABOUT THINGS NO ONE CARES ABOUT
Stop talking about things no one cares about. It is fine to mention you had a bad day. But as soon as it gets more detailed the bordom kicks in. Nothing is more irritating than letting others feel like they are wasting time for your story about your weird dream last night.
NOT SOLICITING FEEDBACK
Always make sure that people are responding to your story. If there is no “wow”, “jeez” or something that could show you there interest, just stop and ask a mid question. If they don´t ask you how your story ended you might find out that they were tuning you off the whole time. Not soliciting feedback is a big turn off.
To be able to give yourself enough freedom to express your true personality you will need to find the courage to view everybody the same. No matter who they are, what they do for living, if they are the opposite sex. Nothing kills Charisma more than having prejudices.
TRAILING OFF OR MUMBLING
Don´t let your voice start to mumble. Nomatter if you are introducing yourself, saying thank you or simply telling a story, do it with a clear voice!
ANSWERING QUESTIONS WITH A SINGLE WORD
Ever felt awkward silences? Maybe it is your fault. Try to engage in a conversation. It is not over sharing just because you are trying to find something that can relate to the person you are talking to. Be interested and have courage to ask questions too.
Do I have to say more? As Bob Marley said, “When you worry you make it double”. As researchers found out constant complainer tent to be more lazy in general. Although you may put some of your friend down too and there is nothing more unattractive than someone who lets you feel unmotivated.
NOT REMEMBERING NAMES
This is also a big faux pas. Be in the moment and treat the name of the new person you have met like your entrance to their world. Force yourself to repeat the name the instant your hear it and use it in your conversation and when you say goodbye.
We all have insecurities because of massive psychological and social pressure to fit in. So many of us are hiding the things they believe in or what makes us weird. But lacking principles makes you totally forgetable. Be yourself nomatter what and your charisma will shine through! People will respect the person who stands out because of the many falsettes of their character and the genuine way of showing them.
Love, Aya ©