As you may notice, I took some time off. For the sake of awakening, I gave up daily routines and mostly isolated myself from friends and family, trying to escape the illusion called reality. One big questions came up. “If I could live forever, what would I live for?”
Analyzing
Reality can play some great shows which in the end have no meaning.
I hope you are up to some psychological analyzing before we move on to actualizing. Let’s question meaning, so that we’ll be able to define values and answer the main question more precisely.
You see, I grew up perfectly covered from the outstanding world of people chasing desires. I had no other aspiration but to be an artist. My childhood included everything I needed in moderation. Artistic parents, living a simple but joyful life. I was able to practice singing for several hours without even noticing the time.
Can you imagine how many of us exchanged mental freedom for random desires like recognition and money?
Habits, Freedom and Meaning
People all over the world force themselves to habitually do things they believe in at that current time. Doing them over and over again, to become a master, mostly for the reason of earning money, without feeling great joy while doing it. Numb for actuality the emotions, all the sparkle, and meaning gets wasted. There is only one solution.
The child-me was not forced to practice. It was free and loved to create and to practice. You see, there is a difference here. Giving actions meaning brings validation and excitement.
“Though you can love what you do not master, you cannot master what you do not love.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Actualizing
The easier life gets, the more fiction it becomes.
Reality can shape beautiful forms. Riding along the sea and feeling the warm wind while the sun is setting, is quite a good reality to enjoy. Sometimes I go for a run to feel energized afterward. My breakfast makes me feel healthy, and my dogs make me happy.
What I have noticed is that life presents itself subjectively fulfilling according to the program one lives by. Moving to a different city presented a different show of actions for me. I was changing because of circumstances. But I don’t want to change for the sake of moving or growing; I want to change because of meaning.
“Sometimes you need to sit lonely on the floor in a quiet room in order to hear your own voice and not let it drown in the noise of others.”
― Charlotte Eriksson
I love my life, but if it should be forever I has to be significant.
Deep down we all know there is something big we have not discovered yet. It’s worth overwhelms the existence of ourselves, therefore meaning in general has to be questioned again.
If I would live for eternity, I had to face that everything I love eventually will come to its end. To relate my happiness to occasions, people, things and emotions is more a distraction to reality than reality itself. Can happiness exist on its own, not related to needs? If so, I am questioning if reality is simply authenticity. Allowing failures to happen without us taking action against it. All would start to look already perfect no matter what we do and excitement would easily come back to us, right?
When I could live forever what would I live for?
I WOULD LOVE AND HATE.
I WOULD BE PATIENT BUT
I WOULD NOT HESITATE.
I WOULD DREAM IN COLOR.
I WOULD RUN AND LIVE TO DISCOVER.
I WOULD ASK QUESTIONS,
BUT FORCE MY DIRECTIONS.
I WOUD LIVE FOR SPIRITUALITY.
I WOULD LIVE FOR ACTUALITY.
MY WEAPONS WOULD DO FAVORS.
I WOULD LIVE TO BE A CREATOR.
Think about it. There is nothing more complex and flawless than The Creation itself. Now I ask you to allow one question.
Is your reality subjectively created by circumstances you live by or do you exist in alinement with everything that happens and will happen without asking?
Do you want to find out what meaning your life has?
My advise: Be alone as long as you need. Even though it can feel lonely or sad, it helps you discover who you are for yourself and can bring happiness without the urge of some needs.
Tell me what would you do if you would live forever in the comment section.
Love, Aya.
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