Freedom And Circumstances

I am at the Hungarian border. It is a freezing cold fall night. People are waiting for the police to let them pass. We, a group of 7 travelers from Belgrade, Serbia to Vienna, Austria were sorted out for a security check. The terretory looks dirty and chaotic. Everywhere I look are garbage bins over floating. This place should offer security and provide peace, yet it is not well taking care of.  Every minute we are counting makes us more worried about our safety.
While I am hoping for the police officer to return, the worst case cenerio crossed my mind and right pass that, my believe and faith in god.
Religion taught us to believe in what seems powerful and to show it through aestethics.  Majestic temples, churches and artwork have been created to demonstrate respect and honor for the sake of peace and in the end our believe in god. Human beings are gifted with the power to create. I am currently at this border which love and lifeless appearance make my instincts fear.
Can freedom exist in unaesthetic outlooks, borders, and rules? As humans, we are privileged to know languages. Life could thrive with communication. Why are we making it so hard? Why am I scared, yet I did nothing wrong?
The woman sitting next to me is curious too. “It is a crazy time.” she admits. The excitement of this uncontrollable situation turns our decisions into a floating mechanism of unconscious behaviors. Her reference: “What if they lock us away for something they believe we did wrong?” proves that fear determines power. Having no power over the future of oneself. The fear of not existing.
A thought is crossing my mind as I look into the sorrowful eyes of the old lady. Being recognized as a human is borrowed. in this society it is not obvious.
My eyes swiftly gazed into the moon. He who is smiling down to us this lonely night has in fact no light of himself. He is reflecting the suns illumination to comfort the darkness on earth with a second hand glimmer. The actual moonlight does not exist.
I cannot hold back a giggle. “Mrs. Please don’t be afraid of what lies in the unknown. Freedom is our birthright.” Immediately she knows to reply fearful: “I am educated. I know there is nothing to do if they say you are sorted out. It’s there job.”
Quietly I look around. The lady sitting next to me is not different to the police officer or myself.  Just a label is providing her identity, persona.  Her statement, The Who she is, is designed by the circumstances she grew up with. Before she allows a thought she corrects her mask to hug her victims face. She has no choice, thats how it is, she believes.
Deep inside she wants to be tolerated, understood and supported. Just like me, just like the police officer. But there is too much pressure, too many rules, and she is losing faith. She fears.
I see clear now. The matrix is pulling us back. Thinking in structures, outside the box. Questioning meaning. Giving reason and taking action. That is our responseabitliy, our purpose. Our fear is false evidence appearing to be real. I have to tell my knowledge. It is my duty.
Imagine a hoard of wolves, and you are a sheep. The system has its power to control the unconscious. Makes you believe something that doesn’t exist. Makes you a victim of yourself. But indeed we have something that unites us. Realize this moment right now. The instant of now is what unites us. What we all experience, till our last breath. I haven’t heard of someone traveling in time yet. The fear of failure, discrimination, guild, and loneliness are tools to control. Imagine never feeling guilty anymore. It’s a choice. Many facts are involved when we form a belief. Past experiences, traditions, knowledge, and education. Think about a cashier returning too little money. What do you think about it? Observe your thoughts. Does the borrowed light form them? Have you consider yourselves addicted to its shine, for you are too blind to see in the dark for yourself.

Observe your thought

Let’s say you have to face expectations, depression, terror, lies, and loneliness. We will make room for them now and give that space a name. Let’s call it “The Night”. Everything that has you trapped in something you would typically not want to feel or do, spread it out in the black nothingness. Better known as the blank space of bliss.
You see, before we rise up to our true identity we have to pass our physical needs, emotional needs, interllectual needs and right before we are through and free we have to pass the blank space of bliss. Nothingness. Buddhism relates it to the deep sleep phase. When you are not dreaming, but you can actually remember that you have slept.

Let’s paint a picture.

Take a white paper.


Write down all
negative things you want to eliminate out of your mind with a black marker.
I write expectations, aggression, perfection, pressure, discrimination, deadlines, alarm clocks, junk food, lies, suffering, comparisons, money.
Now let’s fill the paper with the color.1509879544580.jpg1509879492401.jpg
As the words vanish tell them good bye. They have not pleased your well being. You always had troubles because of them. They rubbed you your health, your happiness.
You filled the paper and you cannot see them anymore. They are there but invisible. 1509879663234.jpgThey are not included in your decision making process anymore. Realise that fear or “The moment of bliss” should be empty, even though it is not. Before we arrive to the light we have to lose our senses, our thoughts, time and identity.
When I look into darkness I cannot see. Do I have to question what I cannot sense? Certainly not. If I cannot see I cannot truly know.
We have a black paper in our hands. We feel it looks unfinished, empty, lifeless. But we love to create and this looks like nothing. What should we believe in now? Black paper? Think like this, when we lose color, race, importance, gender, priorities, ego, goals, we start to look inside of ourselves. We listen to the heart.
When we glance inside the glorious beauty of a black hole we cannot see anything, but it’s proven that this giant has memory. A black hole spits out planet, suns and fallen stars after millions of years. How is it possible? Are we looking into nothing or everything?
“You might think the event horizon of the black hole will save you, since that special location — the border between where light can and cannot escape — appears “frozen” in the sense that anything falling into it will always remain as encoded information on the surface, a property discovered back in 1939. But in 1974, Stephen Hawking showed that was inadequate. On long enough timescales, the quantum nature of the Universe, and the fact that there are particle-antiparticle fluctuations occurring in the curved space at the event horizon, means that black holes will emit a thermal, blackbody radiation that eventually leads to their decay.” –

Reasonable Change and Labeling

We are debating about change. How to achieve it, why it is that important and how never to stop repeating the often destructive, uncontrolled behaviors of change.
We haven’t questioned why we change. Albert Einstein said, the once said, can never be returned.
When I look around, I see streets that are filled with working single mums, the suit guys, slightly too comfortable couples, teens that seem much older than they are, elderly people that got forgotten, and those who believe they have it all together but will sooner or later be confronted with unsolved emotions, like regret or insecurities.


Let’s zoom in. Distractions appear everywhere we look. I can speak for myself, spending the first moments in the morning on the phone. Checking our feeds, and even if we don’t like to admit it, we review what Kim Kardashian does. How the weather will be. If we have paid all the bills, Amazon and getting hungry from watching too much food porn. We never quite get enough. Reading the news. Watching television. Getting a fix from society by making a statement with our styling. Dress to impress. Our jobs. Some say they like their job but what if their was no money to earn? Would it still be meaningful to them? Or is it a tool to lean on when we don’t want to take responsibilities for our ignorance to unite for the sake of a community.
Posts and newsfeeds will turn out to have been nothing more than distractions, Their life’s well hidden behind their own eyes. Revealed by nobody not even themselves. Billions of people with unestablished minds, choosing their paths by the influence of ego-based perceptions. No, this is not like the other articles you read, brushing the dust off the ground. This is different. You are about to wake up!
 I wrote so much about change but yet I forgot to mention understanding.
Of course, there is a way to use the power of correspondence. Make your dreams happen. But imagine 7 billion people manifesting as individuals running for their creation of force. I mean who does not like to feel the neck straightening easy going way? It means security, wealth and recognition. But most importantly influence. Am I afraid to share the timeless frequencies echoing through eternity? I am excited! It is my duty. In better words, it is my honor.

Monkey’s in Paradise

Once a man named  Ares wakes up in paradise. A warm wind gives him a kind hug as he opens his eyes to the sun. The tree beneath he is sitting offers him a safe cooling space. As he looks around, he feels excited. “This is heaven!” Just the one he imagined. While he gazes through the fields, he feels a bit hungry. “I want to eat.” The instant all the most delicate foods he wished for surround him. He even hopes for something out of his childhood. Warm apple crumble cake. As he is eating, he feels thirsty and thinks about water. Water appears. He drinks, and he even gets a bit drunk. As he looks around, he gets scared. It all seems too perfect. There must be ghosts somewhere; he thought, and the ghost appears. They will kill me, he thought, and so he died.

This story can relate to the thought process of an unestablished mind. The manifestation of a thought, or as we read and heard the word visualization often, but never quite understood what it meant. With the head of a monkey, outcomes are miserable. Have we overused the power of change for false beliefs stopping us from finding our destiny? So many of us feel not accomplished, not fulfilled, even though we are always moving and evolving.

The True Self

Luckily all humans thrive for the same things, catagorized in 4 dimensions. We all want pleasantness in ourselves and pleasantness around ourselves. Let me break it down for you. In our body, we call it health and pleasure. If it happens in our mind, we call it peace and joy. In our emotion it is love and compassion. If it is going on in our energy, we call it blissfulness and extasy.

The best decision of my life was to choose that I want to shine and I want to help others shine too! There were times that i just wanted to give up, but I feel a huge responsibility to live this life to the fullest. The following will help you understand what you really are. Take some time to go through the questions. I created it to make you understand yourself and to reveal who you really are and what you actually believe in. Have fun.

Stepping into your own light.

Ask yourself why you came here to exist. What is your purpose?

How do you imagine time?
How do you deal with the not knowing?
Do you love yourself?
Have you looked into your eyes and identified with the body you are looking at?
Do you look different in your imagination?
Are your day to day tasks reasonable? Do they serve you, without the need of money?
Have you find yourself lonely recently?
Sad? Give reasons.
Be interllectually honest with your answer. Go beyond what you see. What is truly bothering you? (recognition, money, discrimination,..)
What do you want for yourself?
What do you want for others around you?
Do you find yourself worthy?
What makes you worthy?
What does love mean to you?
Define beauty.
Question art.
black or white
Light or dark
Day or night
Now or tomorrow
Fear or excitement
Community or One-Man-Show?
In what do you believe in?

Who are you?


Understanding yourself is achievable through non attachments. The Who you are is a choice. Everything else is an illusion.

Let your soul expand and your heart reach out to others. Make every day as an opportunity to serve others and give others happiness and joy. What you give is what you get! Happy thoughts are the only cure for bad days.

Remember to never give up on yourself! Speak up! Fight for your believes!! Don’t be afraid of the storm because you are the storm!! I am here for you! I will write till my heart stops beating to remind you that you are born free and nomatter who you are, you are worth it! One day we will hold hands, be a union and fight together for the truth! Fight for a change! Fight for utopia
If you ask me, I feel the happiest when I think about you. You are the reflection of myself. Therefore I’ll make you shine. You are the I!
Forever in your duty, with love and pride, Aya.

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