Love, Aya.
Tag: relationship
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Beyonce had it half right. “If I were a boy, I would turn off my phone.” Surely not while cheating, as in the song. But probably to engage more, for goodness sake. 🙂 Let’s jump right in. Here are my three top features, I would go for if I were a guy.
If I were a boy,
I would be kind
The art of connecting positively.
There was one guy who had this incredibly simple detail that made him so magnetizing. When he smiled, his eyes would come closer together and form wrinkles underneath and on the sides, just like he was looking into the sun. Whenever he liked something or wanted to show love to, he had this intensely thoughtful expression. It made people around him instantly feel welcome and understood. For me? Well, it felt amazing being his sunlight. 🙂
I cannot say it more often. Kindness is a field of gold. Being seen as a human is what creates trust and adds to the basic foundation of relationships.
A healthy mind is tolerant, forgiving and positive. Not just that. It adds up to the guy’s attractivity, makes him more charismatic and a woman of quality certainly knows about the great worth of kindness. For me, religion was on one hand helpful to develop an understanding for value and meaning. If you are interested in expanding your perspectives on that manner, read my article Is Religion Dead?.
“In its purest form, religion can inspire people to serve the welfare of others, not out of ego, but out of a sense of divine duty. .. distractions can appear everywhere, and we easily start to overline our needs.
The challenge we have to face is to learn from religion .. to awaken kinder, less selfish impulsive. .. Religious leaders like Jesus Christ or Buddha had the capacity to think outside of the box and therefore lived a more fulfilling life. .. What if religion is not over, but yet will experience a renaissance of enlightenment by making individuals to Gods which will create a Planet more aesthetic, courageous and kind than ever demonstrated to humankind. If so, I am the first one to believe!” – Aya in Is Religion Dead?My game would be on
Own winds that could carry someone away
Disappointment all over the place. I met some guys that had no idea what there were doing. Having a helpless look with slightly shocked microexpressions when the plan was spontaneously about to change. Now there is a “problem” that needs to be solved. Well, now I feel uncomfortable too, lol. In fact, you that is reading this probably are him, unconsciously. It is your approach.
Guys, please put a game on. But one that is authentic, so that a strong, intelligent woman cannot tell but is charmed by. One of a leader.
What I mean are not just the primary reactions on spontaneous happenings that interrupt situations that should come with an open, positive attitude, but also comprehensive mindsets and beliefs. Men should have vision. It is powerful to own winds that could carry someone away.
Words and choices have to be carefully used. Have something in mind, even if it is just an inviting smile, that makes a situation more beautiful. Details make you magnifying if you allow it. Better than doing nothing and expecting the girl to be the highlight. I mean, otherwise my motivation as a girl would be low, spending time with such an uninspiring dude. Mostly I would be bored. Act, not just react!
As you may know, I am obsessed with Tyrion Lannister. His mindset is priceless and could change your game forever! Here is my guide to understand and be able to use Tyrion’s Manipulation Tricks. –Tyrion’s Manipulation Tricks
“Influence is not about convincing people to want different things that they already want. It’s about showing them that the way to get what they already want is by following you. To be a ruler can happen by being perfectly honest, just by seeking the understanding of People’s motivation and having enough credibility to make desires happen not only for you but for everyone around you. ..
A worthful ruler is someone who has the unique talent to cycle through possibilities of gold, land, pride and friendship smartly and understandable, not stuck in just one angle, deserving of trust by facing people eye to eye and brave enough to speak out loud for all of their individual needs while taking walks in their shoes, giving away his own. Therefore we have to differentiate between becoming a ruler and having the potential of being one. .. Influence should never be defined by control, honesty should seek forgiveness and hope outline our ambition, for I believe this world is ready for the change.” – Aya in Tyrion’s Manipulation Tricks
I would cry like a baby
In appreciation for the truth.
Behind a strong opinion should be knowledge, experience, and interest. Yes, but why do men like to forget about feelings? I believe that great things happen if one puts his mind on a subject, with the magical addition of emotion.
You read it often on ayatoday, expressing feelings raises vibrations. I have noticed that people like to engage with compassion if emotion is shown. Especially if intellect surrounds you, it is not that easy to move people.
However, men with feelings are attractive! Comforting and light! The moment emotion is released, and pain or joy are visible, authenticity brightens the room. Priceless!
Being a reminder that we are all the same, is what I would go for as a man. It is not weakness. A guy with intellect should be able to show vulnerability without being soft. It should be his compassion, that is so intense that it could make him cry! Maybe he is so angry or sad about the situation in a third world country. On the other hand, a victim role is bad!
Dealing With The Fear Of People’s Opinion is a rather funny article on a serious subject I wrote, that provides a secret anchour for your freedom in any situation. Read it, not just for your amusement but to raise self awareness.
“To stand out, you have to be different, and then you will make a difference. Nerds run the world. Ignore the opinion of others, listen to your own heart and live your life. What makes a diamond special is its exceptionally well ability to stay stable under pressure. So remind yourself daily, that you are up to something great and in the process of becoming a nerdy diamond.” – Aya from Dealing With The Fear Of People’s Opinion
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If you find this article inspiring, go ahead, like and share it with a friend.
Tell me, what are your thoughts on being a guy in a world full of strong women?
Comment down below. Let’s spread meaningful content together!Much love, Aya.
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If girls start to make the effort of the first move, maybe on social media, they often get excessively careful with their approach, are very well thought out, but unfortunately still overdone. A guy knows when a girl asks him to keep in touch or meet up sometime, it’s a strike before he even hit a ball. But the devastation of a potential romance can be prevented by understanding the significants of respect in relationships.
Girls, here are six tips on how to get a guy’s respect.
AND, ACTION!
Always enforce your standards with action. That means, if you want him to change something, please do not talk it through more than once! Otherwise, you are not just annoying but not serious taken too. Next time he falls back in the old thing you didn’t like, let him feel a loss by changing your actions. He has to believe he will lose you if he doesn’t respect you enough to take your word with honour. This might be the biggest component of getting respect.
NEEDINESS ALERT
So, if you’ve made the first move and he didn’t reciprocate with the same effort, or you just feel he is not responding to the same attempt, and you fear he may be not that into you STOP chasing him! A girl with low self-esteem keeps pursuing no matter what a guy’s response is and you don’t want to be her. Don’t ever chase a man who won’t chase you!
GOODBYE FOR GOOD
Be willing to walk away if you feel not respected. Always love yourself first, so that the guy knows if he mistreated you, even though you love him, you will leave because you love yourself more! There should always be the fear of losing a person if not carrying adequate. Next time he treats you wrong, leave him if necessary.
BILLS, BILLS, BILLS
You maybe heard this one before. Always pay for yourself on dates or at least offer too! If you always try to do your part, even though he is not accepting, you still earned his respect. Another big mistake girls do is to expect everything to be paid, which guy’s find very annoying! If he is gentleman enough to pay for you, look him in the eyes and just say “Thank you.”.
MS. UNPREDICTABLE
Have sex with him if you feel like it. Don’t overthink and wait for a “social norm” but on the other side wait until you feel comfortable with him. A guy respects a girl who can make healthy choices for herself and does what she wants on her terms. Don’t become a booty call by being predictable. Guys will always try to arrange sex as they feel the need, but you should still always be truthful to how you feel and communicate that otherwise, you may never get the chance to become his girlfriend and be respected.
SELFISH ME
In this world full of beautiful, smart and outgoing women, men started to evolve to sad players rather than honourable gentlemen, which is indeed depressing for both sides. But guy’s do wish to get the chance to fall in love in the process of chasing a girls heart. The final indicator for getting respect is to value life by living it consciously. Aim for being healthy, unique, loyal to your ethics and full of actions. Shoot for the stars, dedicate your time for what you believe in, take responsibility and don’t forget that you are born free! Your purpose is to be HAPPY, so always stay kind toward yourself. You are worthy just as you are and being loved by you a precious thing.
Love, Aya ©
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How to stay authentic in a conversation when there is an infinite amount of possibilities at any given point to react to something said? The balance between being nice but saying your opinion plays a significant role when you want to be respected and valued for your company and it all lays in the choice of your words. Here is my favorite trick on how to get people to like you but still be critical.
PROMOTING IDEAS
The art of connecting positively to people in a conversation while being a very honest and truthful friend lays in your ability to promote ideas. If you can show people that you like their opinion and agree with them, you’ll probably connect very quickly. Being a Yes Man is great, but for the reason of staying authentic on topics you may not agree with, just add an extension. In a small talk, this can happen very casually. When talking about serious topics like politics or religion, you may want to agree with what has been said and then point out what the differences in your opinion are. When you want to engage with the story that someone is telling you, try to recognise a fragment of the story by comparing it to something positive. Show your respond by pointing out the situations match. Keep in mind that it should just be for fun and make sure to tease a bit before you move to the next topic.
SAD CLOWNS
We all have that one friend who is always up to something fun, but seems a bit lost. In his rush, he tends to agree with anything that someone throws at him. In the following, he quickly loses his reputation of being a good adviser and friend, which can lead to a severe identity crises, and all of it just because of a lack of communication skills and understanding progression. We should promote each other, and when you find a sad Yes Man advise him to always add an extension of his view. He’ll feel better and you too.
I hope this could inspire you to be a kind, encouraging person who cares but still is observant and critical. Make sure to leave a comment, if you agree but want to add your opinion which I’d love to read!
Love, Aya ©
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A Millennial is everyone who is born after 1980, including me, most of my readers and to be exact we outnumber every other generation living on Earth. But according to multiple studies, we are the most depressed generation ever. Psychology reports that the suicide rate among young adults has tripled since the 1950 and terrifyingly suicide has now become the second most common death among college students. Every year more and more Millennials are taking time off work and seeking help for mental health issues. They point out how they experience extremely shallow job satisfaction and difficulty maintaining relationships.
Narcissism
On the one hand, we want to make an impact. Our work should be meaningful. We like to work in collaborations, eat free food and have fun. We also for no reason like to believe that we earned something, yet we didn’t do much to deserve any consideration at all. The narcissism stereotype among young people has exploded. We are made to believe that we can become whoever we want just by keeping an image. A big economy switch experienced by our previous generation is why. It created fame-obsessed people thriving for their uniqueness. Four times as many teenagers would choose to be the assistant of a famous person rather than the CEO of a major cooperation and 54% of 16 years old nowadays wanna become a celebrity. Shouldn’t fame come according to success?
Rewarded Laziness
We created a technology that can think for us and therein lies the biggest problem which ruins the lives of young people. Mobile phones. You probably heard it a billion times before but do you know how damaging they are to our mental health? My research is terrifying. Here are some facts. The average Millennial checks their phone 100 times per day and touches, taps or swipes 3.000 times. Taking pictures, playing games, reading the news or writing a status releases dopamine. We feel instant gratification when we receive online feedback such as likes, wins or shares. We have built major platforms which provide an everlasting continuum of reward for our deeply connected self-fulfilment. But what happens when we don’t get the expected amount of appreciation? What if the picture we just uploaded didn’t get enough likes? Studies have shown that the answer is feelings of rejection, lost and finally depression. Whether we like it or not, we have become a generation of addicts. It starts by leaving your phone next to your food during dinner and putting the people we should spend quality time with face to face as a second priority. On the other hand our parents had to make an effort to get their appreciation. They had to have meaningful conversations which formed deep and long relationships, to get their dopamine fix. We, on the other hand, are so used to get the instant gratification that we quickly get bored and therefore we are impatient and lazy. Well, success definitely cannot be handed on a plate.
The Cure
I want to make a point here. What if depression is just a symptom of our generation dealing with the adoption of media. Imagine we would put our minds into something that actually matters. We could make a huge impact! Do I believe that we are lazy, depressed Narcissus? Yes. We definitely have to adapt our education due to the psychological fact of technological approvement. But the fact is we are less racist, homophobic and sexist as our parents. Also, our inability to settle into a 9 to 5 job may not be so entirely wrong. We are the most entrepreneurial generation ever! Our hunger to achieve something big and to make an impact could be dangerous for large heartless cooperations but our mentality could change the world as our parents could never imagine. There is no doubt we should spend more time with each other, interacting in groups, evolving meaningful relationships but we also have to accept the fact that the world is changing and put our focus on the good during this transition. The cure is interest and we can start by putting in some effort in change.
Love, Aya ©
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